Do you hate cardio? Cus I sure fucking do. That shit is boring and it takes forever. If only there was an alternative that would fix these issues.

Oh wait, there is an alternative, and it burns a lot more calories, a lot more fat and as fun as getting kicked in the Dick by an army of ninja parrots.


Hiit is a form of cardio training that alternates between extreme “dicks out for harambe” exercises and less intense recovery periods. Workouts could range from a 1:1 work to rest ratio, 1:2 ratio, 1:3 ratio and so forth.

An example of a 1:1 ratio would be your bum ass performing as many kettlebell swings as you can in a minute and then walking for the following minute. That would be one set.

I’m not gonna lie, it’s painful. But just look at all the benefits this shit gives you:

1.They burn more calories and fat during and after your workout than steady state cardio aka jogging on that ball punching treadmill. And it can boost your metabolism for up to 48 hours.
2. Hiit won’t bore you to death. Say good bye to shitty cardio machines.
3. It’s a lot more time efficient. No more fucking excuses about not having time to workout. Hiit can be performed anywhere.
4. They build up your endurance. A study in 2006 found that people that spend 8 weeks doing Hiit workouts were able to bicycle twice as long as they could before the study.
5. It will build muscle. Hiit workouts stimulate the release of anabolic hormones like HGH and testosterone.
6. No equipment necessary. You don’t need shit to do an hiit workout. All you need is your imagination.


Hiit workouts are not supposed to be done every day. Due to their high intensity, if done every day your weak ass could get injured or you could burn yourself out.

10 rds of 30 second sprints followed by 30 seconds of jogging/walking.

8 rds of 1 minute burpees followed by 2 minutes of marching in place.

10 rds of 1 minute of body weight squats followed by 30 seconds of rest.

The “wtf did I do to you?” workout

3:1 ratio 45 sec of work and 15 sec of rest between exercises. Take a 2 minute rest in between rds.
3rds of:
45 seconds of jump squats
15 sec rest
45 sec plank jacks
15 sec rest
45 sec burpees
15 sec rest
45 sec alternating side lunge hop
15 sec rest
45 sec mountain climbers
15 sec rest
45 sec high knee run
15 sec rest
45 sec plank hand tap
15 sec rest
45 sec sprinter skip
2 minute rest

Feel free to modify the work to rest ratios to accommodate your fitness level. This shit is hard, but you can do it. We are in this together. Now STFU and get to work.

%d bloggers like this: